24 Things No One Tells You About Becoming A Mom

Your baby “bump” doesn’t automatically shrink up after the baby comes out. You don’t SUDDENLY have a flat stomach after birth!

3. The baby isn’t the only thing you deliver during childbirth. After you deliver the baby, you deliver the placenta. “Here’s your beautiful baby and here’s your beautiful placenta!” But the placenta is not beautiful. It looks like an uncooked pot roast.

4. Pooping during childbirth is pretty common. Yeah, it happens. It’s a shitty deal.

5. Being puked on is a daily occurrence. Being shit on is also a frequent occurrence.

6. Your vagina isn’t forever ruined after vaginal childbirth. IT SHRINKS BACK. This is not a “hotdog down a hallway” type of situation, people!

7. Doing things with one hand is one of your best skills. You become a master at holding a baby, making a bottle, unloading the dishwasher, and talking on the phone all at the same time.